About a month ago, I read an article in which the author talks about how rarely she wears pants. I found myself feeling envious of the author and her feminine, dressed-up wardrobe. I love wearing skirts and dresses but find I don’t wear them very often these days. I’ve got a bunch in my closet, though, and they’re cute. So, the only official resolution I’m making this year is to buy no new pants. Last week I bought a pair of skinny jeans (after finally coming to terms with the idea of skinny jeans on my fat ass (not being self-deprecating here, I really do have a fat ass (and I rather like it, thankyouverymuch))), and a couple weeks before that I bought a pair of black slacks. They’re going to have to last until 2015, though. Here are the rules of no new pants:
- I can buy all the skirts and dresses I want/can afford.
- Leggings are not pants; therefore, I can buy new leggings (also tights).
- Emergency new pants can be bought at second hand stores, but I should really just buy a skirt instead.
I hope this experiment will help me break out of my I-wear-jeans-352-days-a-year rut and start dressing a little nicer. I’ll probably still wear jeans most days, though. It’s not like I’m throwing out the ones I already own…
So, other things.
First, a challenge.
Like millions of other Americans, I’m thinking about losing weight in 2014. Yes, I’m kind of fond of my fat ass, but I’m also fond of my mobility and joints that don’t hurt. I’ll be honest: I’ve been too self-indulgent lately in a lot of ways and I need to start telling myself no. I’ve been thinking a lot about why I take so much pleasure in overeating, and I think, perhaps, one reason is because I don’t do much else that nourishes me. This past year I’ve been…I don’t know…focused outwardly: relationships, careers. I haven’t done much to care for myself internally–mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
I don’t know if this follows, but I’ve come up with a challenge (NOT a resolution, though I don’t know what the difference is, really): when I feel the impulse for emotional eating, I’m going to write something instead. I won’t give myself any parameters for what to write–could be a ranty journal entry, a letter I’ll never send, a sappy little love poem I’ll never try to publish–instead, I’m just going to focus on turning to the pen when I find myself wanting to fill a void. If this works, it’s sure to be my most prolific year ever.
Next, a goal.
For years, I’ve been talking about writing a book of poems inspired by my grandparents (him: bank robber, her: more or less single mom for the 10 years he’s in prison). This book idea has been signed off on by my committee and is now officially my dissertation. The thing is, I’ve been talking a lot more than I’ve been writing. So the goal is to finish the manuscript. I’m giving myself the full year, but I’d really like to finish it (and my PhD) by August. It’s a steep goal, but I’m going to do my best to meet it.
Finally, a wish.
I’ve made the decision to leave academia and to leave Chicago. I’ll be moving back to Ohio in the summer. I’ll be job hunting over the next couple of months. The wish: to find a decent, full-time job that pays a decent, living wage and benefits. I’d love to find a job that challenges me, that serves a community I believe in. But I’ll be honest: at this point, almost any job will do. The economy is too scary to be picky. And I don’t think my next job will be my last job, so maybe I won’t change the world in 2014, but that doesn’t mean I never will.
I’m excited about 2014. Mostly because I’m moving back to Ohio. Plus, imagine all the cute skirts I’m going to find!